Updates

Today Ken and I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Good movie, awesome special effects. The movie cut out a lot of the book, but all the major plot points were there. You'd be completely lost, though, if you hadn't read the books. Also, this movie is a good illustration of the magic of books; nothing on screen can be as scary, emotional, or real as stuff we read. Did I dislike the onscreen Professor Umbridge? Sure. Did I hate her? No. Did I enjoy the Weasley twins' "screw you" scene? Yeah. But did I want to stand up and cheer and almost cry because they're so frickin' cool? Nope. Was the death at the end sad? You bet. But did I cry and bemoan how horrible life has been for Harry? Nope. You get the idea.

Another rejection. Note the Reject-o-meter.

Ken has been in the process of tearing out our deck. We're going to rip out the concrete patio, put in a stone paver patio, build a new deck, put in a fence, and build a brick outdoor-kitchen type deal. All before then end of September. Anyway, today Ken discovered the remains of long-dead furry little animal. At least, that's what he thought it was. I gave it a close inspection and found the vertebrae, and about a foot away, a little skull. It's been dead a looooong time, a year or two at least. It looks like it may have been a bunny. Poor bunny.

Working on the climax of Stormy Weather. I'd like to get through that tomorrow. I'm getting dangerously close to having a bona fide second draft. Ken and I bounced around ideas for my ghost story and I think I've got a fun idea going. Both of my previous published works (!!!) have been a little dark, so I wanted to go light and fun with this. We'll see how it goes. I'd like to have a first draft done of that by the end of this week. Fingers crossed!

new addition

Today I performed the masochistic task of counting all my rejections. All of them, dating back to early 2004, and including agent, trilogy, and short story rejections. The grand total is 50. That's it! 50! Granted, 25 of those have been from the last year or so, but still. I've not been working hard enough. It's possible, too, that I've not kept them all.

Note the new, nifty "Reject-O-Meter" progress bar at left. It was Ken's idea. I figure when I reach 100 I'd like to do nice, big, reward. Like apply to Clarion Writing Workshop or go on the Maui Writer's Conference cruise or something fantabulous like that. Coincidentally, Ken and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next year ... mayhap we could wrap the two trips into one.

I suspect, though, that I'll reach 100 way before that. Because, you know, I'll be querying like 100 agents in about two months.

ocd

So I just finished re-reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Before, I was 100% sure that Harry was the last Horcrux and that he'd have to die in order for Voldemort to be killed. There's reasoning behind my theory, and if you want to hear it, I'll be happy to debate it in the comments. It's just that, after a fresh reading, I'm only about 90% sure. Basically, it comes down to this, I think: as readers, how much faith should we put into what the characters believe? Should we assume that Dumbledore is infallible because everyone else has? And just how do we know Voldemort tried the killing curse on Harry? Sure, sure, everyone says that's what Voldemort did, and even Voldemort himself says that's what happened, but ... if that happened, someone had to have seen it happen. Who was that someone? And do we trust that someone to tell us the truth? And if Voldemort indeed made Harry the last Horcrux, would he blab that information to even his closest followers?

Ah, hell. Next week we'll know.

Happily, I was able to read Half-Blood Prince without line-editing it. Did I think about how I would have done X, Y, and Z differently? Sure. But I still enjoyed the book, and for that I'm grateful.

In other news, today I got a rejection from Jim Baen's Universe for "Last Man Standing." Five-day turn-around on that baby. Though, the rejection did say "Please feel free to send us anything else you'd like," which I took as a good sign. And I have six weeks or something to write a ghost story. And a second draft of Stormy Weather to finish. Ah! Pressure! It's actually enough to make me stop obsessing about HP.

whew

Okay. So, today I spent the first day of my 5-day vacation doing almost nothing productive. I worked a little on Stormy Weather, took a nap, had lunch with Ken, and spent a few hours at the pool. While lounging by the deep end, I read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I got through the first eighty pages or so before I started skimming. Why did I skim, you ask? I found myself line-editing the damn book. This is nothing new--ever since I've started writing seriously, I tend to read books as a writer and not as a reader. (You know, that whole "can't enjoy the scenery while reading the map" business.) However, I've not had that experience yet while reading HP. I have to tell you, the fifth time I changed a passive sentence to an active one in my head, J.K. Rowling became human for me. I'm not saying her writing is bad or anything--her world-building is cool, the long story-arc is nicely intertwined and well-executed, and the characters are awesome--I'm just saying, I don't feel as inadequate as I once did. I feel like I've taken one big step forward with my confidence level. Having said all that, I think I'll skip rereading most of the other books. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll still watch the 5th movie in the first few days it comes out, re-read the sixth book, and wait in line like a schmuck and buy the 7th book at midnight. But I think I can skip most of the obsessive-compulsive business this time around.

my talented friend

Actually this post isn't about a writer but an artist. He's a good friend of mine that's in a visual-art school in L.A. Some of his work is featured in the school brochure. check out pdf pages 4 (head), 24 (building), and 25 (watch face). Be aware that these do not correspond to the actual brochure pages. He's going to be snapped up by a studio soon and we can all say we knew him when. Keep livin' the dream, dude.

booty

Bought some new earrings today. I've discovered that I need sterling silver earrings or else my lobes freak out. Real gold, not gold-plate, would probably work, too. Freakish body chemistry does have its perks.

MIA

I've been out of action for the past few days due to a wicked intestinal virus. Now that my system is on the mend, I'll do my best to catch up on the past few days.

I bought three new sets of cute scrubs for work. I love having a job where the accepted uniform is basically pajamas. Apparently right now I'm in my "black floral" period. Previously I bought "colorful geometrics," and before that, "solid unisex". Ah, youth. I'm tossing out the last of the "solid unisex" tonight. I finally felt well enough to wash them tonight, so watch out world! I'll be doing the "Project Runway" walk tomorrow.

Over the past few days a cat has been wandering around our back yard. It obviously belongs to someone, because it has a collar with a bell around its neck and lets Ken pet it. This was the scene a few nights ago:
Moonshine: Spit! Hiss! Hiss! Let me pouf up my tail so I look huge! See how scary I am! Hiss! Hiss!
Kahlua: What's going on?
Morgan: Hey, dumbass, what your malfunc--Gaaah! There's a cat in MY YARD! Hiss! Hiss! Grroooowwwll! Yoooowwwlll! (Run-hop-thump, run-hop-thump) Blasted glass! Who put this shit here? Yoooowwwlll! Hiss!
Kahlua: What's going on?
Moonshine: Get her Morgan, get her!
Outside cat: This step looks comfy. I think I'll lie down right here. I'll stare at you to antagonize you more.
Morgan: Gaahh! The intruder is lying on my deck! Attack! Attttttaaaaaccckkk! If this glass weren't here I'd rip that bell from your throat! I would own you! (Run-hop-thump)
Kahlua: I think I'll lie down now. What's all the commotion about?
Humans: Calm down, cats. (To outside cat) Shoo! Go away.
Outside cat: Hmph. Guess I'll move over to this comfy spot by the window.
Moonshine: Hiss!! Hiss!!! Alert! Intruder by the window!
Morgan: You bitch! Hiss! I will show you no mercy! (Run-hop-thump) Stupid glass.
Kahlua: I'm napping now.

Good times.

On the writing front, I have a few tidbits to report. Between working this past weekend and my wacked-out large intestine, I've made no further progress on Stormy Weather. I'll get back on that horse this weekend. Perhaps I'll sneak in a few hours tomorrow before dinner-and-a-movie. I received a rejection from Realms of Fantasy for "Last Man Standing." It'll go out again this weekend. Persistence pays, allegedly, and I like this story too much to let it die. As for good news, I have been asked to submit a short story for an anthology, 4-6k, due August 15th. I'm pumped. Basically, if I write a good story, they'll accept it and if I don't, they won't. Meaning, nothing is guaranteed ... but it's so frickin' awesome to be asked. I feel like I'm actually making headway in this biz. Fingers crossed, ya'll.

The Rules

1. Don't ever blog while drunk.
2. If someone says, "Here, just have one glass of wine," and that one glass turns into, like, more, you can ignore rule number 1. It's a stupid rule, anyway.

Rewardville

I bought the new Bon Jovi and Stone Sour CD's today. Poke fun if you must.

I just started listening to the Stone Sour one. The first song sounds like a Metallica rip-off. Hopefully it becomes more original soon.

The Stormy Weather progress bar looks misleading. I've done a lot of cleaning and rearranging. I'm working on the climax now, which will actually take the better part of the weekend since I have to work. Once I'm through with that, I'm going to go through each chapter and see what I can add here and there. I figure if I add 500-1000 words to each chapter I can bump up my word count to where it needs to be. Fingers crossed.

rejectionville

A rejection today, this one from Weird Tales for "Rules of Engagement." Never fear, it's heading out the door to Strange Horizons tomorrow.

Busybusybusy

So I've finally got a moment to catch my breath and blog about the last few days.

Wednesday Ken and I attended a Cubs game at Wrigley field with a group of friends. That was awesome! We sat in the bleachers, which is first-come, first-served, so we got there a few hours before game time. We sat in the sun, watched batting practice and ate hot dogs and big pretzels. The Cubs played the Mariners, which was sort of special for Ken and I; the last major league game he and I saw was a Mariners game in Seattle during our honeymoon. Funny coincidence: Lou Penella was the manager of the Mariners back then and the Cubs now. Funny how that worked out. We stayed with a friend that lives in an apartment that's like a 10-minute walk from the Stadium, so we didn't have to deal with the El or traffic at all. Bonus! After the game I also had my first Jagermeister shot since college. Back then I didn't like it; I've discovered that my taste buds have changed. Tasty! I liked it so much I had another. I wouldn't want to sip on a whole glass of the stuff, but as a shooter it's pretty good. Who knew?

Thursday morning we walked along Michigan avenue. We didn't actually shop much; it was more of a people-watching expedition. Though, Ken noted it would make a cool two-day Christmas-shopping excursion. I wouldn't want to do that on a weekend--the crowds would make me insane--but a Tuesday/Wednesday thing could be fun.

Last night I had girl's night poker. Lots of fun, though I didn't win again. The group has really learned how to play and no one had to ask when to check, bet, or what beats what. I had joked that my kid gloves were off and that I out for blood; for some reason, though, I played more timidly than normal and came in fifth. Normally I play pretty ballsy--my theory is you might as well play hard because if you're going to lose anyway you'll be pissed if you didn't--but last night I was all off. Aggressive poker is winning poker, and for some reason I forgot that. Ah, well; then next game is July 13th. Plenty of time to get my game on. Oh, and apparently 9's were the new 2's; it seemed like most flops and/or winning hands had them. Buggah!

Today is for writing, movie-watching, and possibly swimming. I'd like to see Ocean's Thirteen today, and possibly Pirates of the Caribbean. There's a sneak peak of Ratatouille happening and if I can figure out how to score tickets, I'd like to see that, too. Once back in college, Ken and I saw three movies in one day. It was a whole-day affair; we ate meals in between each show and finished that last movie at around 8:00 or something. Fun, but I doubt we're up for it again today. Two movies in a theater is probably our maximum. For one thing, the expense; for another, the people. The theater closest to our house is sort of ghetto, and that scene can get a bit tiresome.

Tomorrow I'm making the trek back home for Father's day. I'm anxious to see my parent's face when they see the copy of the anthology.

drum roll, please

I received my copy of Pirates of the Blue Kingdoms Wednesday. I'm still a little giddy about the whole business. It's finally real! This means I'll be storming the castles (a.k.a. local retailers) next week to try to get them to stock the thing.

In related (small publisher) news, McSweeney's needs our help. Go buy a book or three and help out the little guys.

I'll post about my trip to Chicago tomorrow. Right now all I want is a good book and a little sleep.

Ego boosts

Recently I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from my Stormy Weather readers. They all seem to like the story and the characters (most of the characters, anyway) and they had lots of good ideas for how to beef up the story and shore up the plot. The best part of letting people read my stuff is seeing how invested they become in this story that's come outta my head. You know how when you and a friend read the same book and you talk about it afterward--"Did you like the guy in the place with the thing?" "Oh, yeah! Totally! And the dude, what was his name, the Mattress? He killed me!" I love that--no two people read any story the same way, and hearing other people's takes on a book is awesome. However, it's even better when you share that sort of thing with a story that's been written by one of the involved parties. When the readers see everything you've tried to convey, that's great. But when they see more than what's on the page, well ... that's the magic. It's the reason I love to read. And it's the reason I love to write. One of 'em, anyway.

Now that I've gotten all my reviews back, it's time to get crackin'. I've got back story to think about, scenes to write, a climax to deconstruct and rebuild, and villains to flesh out. What was it ... a finished, polished manuscript by September 1st? Another draft out to readers by August 1st? I think I can actually pull this off ...

Busy work

Today I'm going to go through all 201 posts and try to put tags on 'em. You know, to make searching for my rejections that much easier.

In other news, I forgot to mention that we gave away two couches and two chairs to a grad student on Friday. I was a little sad to see one of the couches go--it was great for naps--but it felt great to help out a student. Two couches down, one more to go ...

This and that

Last night I went to see "Knocked Up" with some friends of mine. I loved it! Full of cursing and crude jokes and a prosthetic vagina. The pink-eye scene is hysterical. Besides all the horsing around, the writing was good and the characters were all awesome. The dude who plays Marshall on "How I Met Your Mother" has a role and he's frickin' hilarious. I've always been a fan of Paul Rudd, and his performance didn't disappoint. He's like a younger John Cusack. If you're not going to be offended by hearing "fuck" approximately 1,547 times, go see it. I'd pay to see it again. Afterwards we drank wine and ate appetizers at a wine shop. Good times.

Today Ken and I bought a new scale. Apparently our old one under-weighed us by about 9 pounds. Yeah, it sucks. More exercise and less food for us. I refuse to give in.

I haven't written much this week. I need to sit down with a note book, answer some questions about my characters, and dissect my plot to see how I can make things worse for each of my characters. One of my readers agreed that the story had good bones but needed more meat. A project for the weekend.

Karma's a bitch

This rocks.



Oh, by the way ... this is post #200. As you were.

Chocolate-Oatmeal No-Bake Cookies

During my childhood, my mom and I would cook quickie stove top treats during the summer months. I'm sure we made them during the winter, too, but I remember making things like Rice Krispie Treats and CONBC during the summer when it's too hot to turn on the oven. I made the No-Bakes tonight. I love them when they're cool, but nothing beats eating the last spoonful of warm goo right outta the pan. Nirvana.

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/2 cup milk
1 stick butter or margarine
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla
3 cups quick-cook oats

Set the burner to medium-high. In a heavy pan, mix the sugar, butter, milk and cocoa until combined, stirring constantly. When the mixture begins to boil, set a timer and boil for exactly one minute, stirring constantly. (This timing is important. Boil too long, the cookies will be crumbly; don't boil long enough, you'll have to scrap the cookies off the wax paper with a spoon to eat them.) One the minute is up, remove pan from heat. Add the peanut butter and vanilla. Stir until the PB is completely melted and incorporated. Mix in the oatmeal until it's evenly distributed. Drop spoonful of mixture onto wax paper; allow to cool about an hour (If it's humid or hot they may take longer to set). Once set, peel off the paper and store in an airtight container for a maximum of two days. These cookies are best with the first 24 hours of preparation.

Peer pressure

I've finally created a livejournal account. You can find me at kelly_swails.livejournal.com. Friend me soon, punks.

Maybe livejournal won't be jealous if I only see blogspot on the weekends.

Da-Da-Dun

Today I shipped of the anemic manuscript of Stormy Weather to two readers. A third reader got the first two chapters. I'm excited because this story's been clangin' around my head for so long that I'm anxious to see what other people think of it. They're going to give me such great input that I bet I can have a really great 2nd draft by August 1st, maybe sooner. That's right, a new deadline! And then I'd like to have it out the door to agents by September 1st. We shall see.

Now that I'm waiting on responses, I can start looking at other projects. I'd like to pull out my old Gemstone Prophecy trilogy and update (read: completely change) it. I want to change the protagonist's background and condense it all into one book. That could take some time but I think it'll improve the project and make it more salable. Then I'll do the agent routine with that one.

And then after that, I'd like to start researching/outlining a sci-fi/thriller/mystery I've been mulling over for a while that has to do with AI chips and autism. That's going to take a fair amount of research and plotting. It's intimidating but you don't grow as a writer (or a person, for that matter) by doing the same thing all the time.

This is all, of course, contingent on not having any more deadlines. There's been rumblings of short-story type offerings in my future, though, so fingers crossed on that front. I'll make an announcement when/if such whispers become official.

On the exercising front, I jogged 2 miles and lifted some weights. The yard probably needs mowed, too-we've gotten a fair amount of rain in the area lately and it's best to keep on top of these things. I hate yard work. I swear our next house is going to be a condo with wood floors and a pool. Or maybe I'll just hire a hunky landscaper.

Productivity

Today I:

1. Mowed the yard

2. Bought three t-shirts, a skirt, a pair of shorts, a pair of capris, two books, a hairdryer, and two beach towels

3. had lunch with girlfriends

4. lounged by the pool

5. got slightly sunburned

6. got a haircut

7. ate dinner with my wonderful husband

8. wrote 800 words



And now I am tired. I am going to shower, read a bit, then crash. But before that, a picture of a wet cat to amuse you:

Morgan loves to shower. He is my little freak of nature.

I'm free!

Today I worked the last day of a six day stretch. Tomorrow I'm mowing the yard, eating lunch with friends, and swimming laps. If the mood strikes I'm going to buy some desperately needed summer clothes. T-shirts and shorts and sandals. Maybe even a new purse or something.

I'd also like to get the ending of Stormy Weather hammered out before I send it out to alpha readers. (Or are they beta readers? I'm the alpha reader, aren't I? Or can the writer be the first reader of their own work? Oh, the philisophical question.) I've stolen a few bits from the earlier draft--mostly character development--and smushed them into the current one as well as tightened a few bits. I need to re-work the ending and go over the draft again, but right now I feel pretty good about the whole business. Is it in any shape for agents? Absolutely not. It's way to undeveloped. But with some input from readers and a whole heck of a lot of work from me, I think this story actually has a chance.

Over the past few days I've tried my hand at a few songs on the "hard" level of guitar hero II. This level introduces the orange key, which requires you to move your hand away from its comfort place in order to hit it. At least, my hands are small, so I have to move. Anyway, it's kickin' my ass. I move my hand, hit the orange note, and the promptly lose my place on the fret board and miss the next twenty notes. I made it through one song last night but got boo'd off the stage multiple times trying to make it through a second song today. (That's right--I'm playing a game that boos you if you suck. I can't even tell how good this is for your ego.) I'm beginning to think I may have hit a plateau with the game. It's all good, though. Less time with xbox=more time with the laptop=more time with Stormy Weather. See? Everyone wins.

Rejection City

Another rejection, this one from Interzone for "Sudden Death." It'll go to Baen's Universe next. I'll probably get it out this weekend.

Slump

I'm editing/reading the Stormy Weather manuscript, and here's my take: I suck.

Maybe I should marry the two different drafts together or something. Maybe I need more teen angst. Maybe I need more plot. Maybe I need to have my head examined.

Definitely a valley in the writing roller-coaster ride.

Maybe I don't have any perspective anymore. I need to get some readers on this thing. Hopefully a semi-formed draft will be ready for readers by June 1st. Volunteers, get your eyes ready.

All I need is a rejection to really set the mood.

On the bright side, I bought the new Maroon 5 disc on Tuesday. It's stylishly funky. There's a few songs that sound like they could have been on their last album, but most of the tunes have less edge than Songs About Jane. I like it--it's got a beat I can dance to.

Back from St. Louis

Ken and I road-tripped to St. Louis with friends of ours this weekend. We hit the Science Center, ate Imo's Pizza, and attended a Cowboy Mouth concert. The Science Center was cool but would have been cooler had we been about 20 years younger. I did get to climb a rock wall, though, and I hadn't ever done that before so that was worth the admission price. Imo's Pizza is always delectable. And the Cowboy Mouth show was entertaining. I had never heard of them but one of our friends loves this band and encouraged us to see them live. This is definitely a band that shines in a small venue (we saw them at the Pageant). They're going to be guests on Regis and Kelly one day this week, so if you're so inclined, set the TiVo. Or check out YouTube next weekend--I imagine someone will post their performance. They've been touring and recording for about 15 years, and I understand they've recently acquired new management, so I wouldn't be surprised if their most recent album (Voodoo Shoppe) breaks out. You know, as an "overnight success" type thing.

Another reason not to procreate

So Ken and I went to Best Buy today. I had intended to buy a new CD as a reward for my "Last Man Standing" rejection, but the opening chords of the Guitar Hero II song "Surrender" by Cheap Trick caught my ears. I wondered over to the display area to find a father watching his boy play the game. The orange key was in play, and from the number of notes, I suspect this kid was playing the "expert" level. I watched an eight-year-old score over 200,000 points on a first-tier song. I was exhilarated and humiliated at the same time. Exhilarated because damn! I just watched someone kill this game! and humiliated because damn! I thought I was doing good because last night I scored over 75,000 points on a "medium" level, sixth-tier song.

Chalk this up as a lesson learned. Never have kids because they'll only kick your ass at video games.

And I still have to buy a CD. Maybe I'll wait until Tuesday ... the new Maroon 5 album comes out. Yeah, yeah, Innuendo, I know. I almost heard your eyes roll in Indy all the way from here.

The "eight facts about yourself" meme

Rachel Barth tagged me, so I'm going to try to come up with eight interesting and/or unusual facts about myself. Here goes:

1. I used to read my dad's Archie comics as a kid. If I had to pick one of the guys, I'd have to go with Jughead. Apparently I was into geeks even then.

2. I've never had formal swimming lessons.

3. When I was in first grade, the family dog trapped a skunk underneath the house. The skunk sprayed and the smell permeated the whole place. We had to move out for a week while the smell dissipated.

4. That was not my last encounter with a skunk. A few years later, I went to our back door to let what I thought was my cat Frisky into the house. When I discovered it wasn't Frisky but a skunk, I yelled "Ahhh! A skunk!!!", slammed the door, and ran to get my parents. Unbelievably, that skunk didn't spray.

5. I played the drums in the sixth grade but quit because I was too scared to go to Contest.

6. I've been asked if I'm left-handed enough to think that maybe I'm a little ambidextrous.

7. My second toe is longer than my first. I've heard this is a sign of high intelligence. That almost makes up for not being able to wear sandals without someone commenting on my toes.

8. If asked to choose between cake and potato chips, I'll choose the cake.



I don't think I know eight people with blogs that haven't already been tagged ... but Sean Murphy, Innuendo, and Bridget, get eight facts about yourself up on your blogs pronto. I'll be checking ...

Last Man Standing...

... has been sent back home by Cemetery Dance. It's going to visit Realms of Fantasy next. Hopefully it will stay and play for awhile.

Right now I'm writing a climactic battle scene of sorts in Stormy Weather. It's fun to write, but kinda tough. Until now I've stuck with one charater's POV for an entire chapter, and now I'm jumping around to a different character every few pages. I have a feeling when I go over the draft I'll have to really tweak this part, but for now I like it. I've got so much work to do on this thing yet. Obviously I'm not going to hit my original goal of having a polished draft out the door to agents by June 1st, but I'm hopeful I can have a first draft ready to be read by some readers by then. For some reason I'm in a good mood about my writing today. Maybe it's because I'm in love with my book again or maybe it's because I have a little niggly feeling in the back of my head that I'm about to sell another story or maybe it's because of the position on the planets. I don't know and I don't care; I just want to take advantage of the writing-love while it lasts.

Glorious summer!

At least it feels like it. I live near a college town, and it's graduation weekend. For the townies like me, that means two things: 1. I will not be dining or shopping in town this weekend unless I am about to die from starvation and 2. starting Monday, there will be available tables in the cafes, no lines at Target, and no waits at the restaurants on Friday nights. Those of you who live in towns with major universities will know what I'm talking about. When 30% of your population leaves for three months, you're bound to notice.

Actually, in regards to #1: starvation would be a preferable alternative to dealing with the crowds this weekend.

Don't worry about my stomach: we're traveling to the Quad Cities tomorrow for Mother's Day. Harris's pizza, here I come!

Writing with a sore wrist

Stupid Guitar Hero II. I've made it through the easy level and I've started on medium. That damn blue key is kickin' my ass. Though, you'll note I've made progress on Stormy Weather.
All is not lost. Tomorrow I have to be at work at 5-frickin'-30 a.m., so no more writing or Hero for me tonight. I'm going to read in bed until I fall asleep. Hopefully I don't wake up every two hours wondering when the stupid alarm's gonna go off.

I have Friday off, and I've decided I'm going to use that day to go to my local booksellers and businesses and stump Pirates of the Blue Kingdoms. I don't have any hard copies yet, but I'm hoping to take a few orders or convince a few managers to buy it themselves from Popcorn Press. I have two chain bookstores, one independent, and a few indie coffeeshops on my list of places to hit. Any other suggestions out there in blogland?

Have your credit cards handy ...

... and visit Popcorn Press to purchase Pirates of the Blue Kingdoms. In fact, buy two--they make great gifts for the upcoming pirate-movie season.

Girl's night poker happened this past Friday. I love being an adult because it means you can eat mini-cheesecakes, cheese and crackers, and caramel corn for dinner and it's okay. Your body may hate you for it, but your inner child loves you, so it's all good. I didn't win any money but I laughed so much my ab muscles were a little sore the next day. The highlights: we called the chips "euros" instead of "cents" to celebrate the Queen's visit; a cat jumped onto the counter and helped himself to french-onion dip; I ate the aforementioned junk for dinner; and after the game, we played with ferrets. Next night is June 15th. I'm already looking forward to it.

I've made good progress on the book today, and I'd like to get another few pages in before the night's over. Productivity was the code-word of the day: I wrote 5 pages, mowed the yard, finished laundry, and played a little Guitar Hero II. For those of you who haven't jumped onto the Guitar Hero bandwagon, do so the first chance you get. Buy a used Playstation 2 from the neighbor kid down the street if you have to. Even when you suck at it like I do, you feel like a rock god(dess). I'm so buying guitar lessons as a reward when I sell my first book. Or singing lessons. One of the two.

The intrepid adventures of short fiction

"Sudden Death" went to Interzone and "Rules of Engagement" went to Weird Tales.

Fingers crossed!

Oh, and I've passed the 15,000-word mark on Stormy Weather. I have a suspicion the first draft is going to be around 30,000-35,000 words, but I also suspect that after a few read-throughs by myself and some fabulous readers, I'll be able to beef that up. As I said a few days ago, I'm beginning to hit the part of the story where shit really starts to hit the fan, so for the next week or so I should make some major headway on the first draft. June 1st, I snub my nose at thee!

Good grief!

I do sort of feel like Charlie Brown today. Another rejection, this one from Glimmer Train Stories for "Sudden Death." This means I have two stories to send out tonight as opposed to one.

Sigh.

I can't be too down about it, though. It's a sunny, 85-degree day. How bad can life be?

Bah, humbug

I just received a rejection from Jim Baen's Universe for "Rules of Engagement," but I have to say it's one of the better rejections I've received. The editor told me exactly why he passed on the story--"more telling than showing and not enough conflict"--and went on to basically say that he's only one editor, and the next editor might view it differently. I appreciated the personal comments so much that I broke a writer-rule and sent him a reply telling him so. I'm not going to change the story quite yet, though. It's a chick-lit-meets-fantasy story, and it must be said that the editor that passed it on to Mike at Baen's is a woman. My point is, sometimes chick-lit is more-tell-less-show, and if the right editor gets her hands on it, I think I have a shot with it as is. So, back to the drawing board on "Rules of Engagement."

Another way to waste some time

If you've read The Golden Compass, you'll get a kick outta this.

marching forward ...

... five pages at a time. Now that I'm getting into the meat of the story, the words are flowing from my fingertips. It remains to be seen if any of them are worth keeping. Right now I feel pretty good--"I'm a frickin' genius!"--but an hour ago I thought that the whole project stunk and I should just bag it. Such is the roller-coaster of the writer's life.

I never did make that yellow cake with chocolate frosting a few weeks ago. Maybe that will shut my inner critic up.

Nah. It'll just give her more fuel for the fire. "You are barely literate. What are you doing eating cake?" Maybe it's best just to leave her hungry for awhile.

da book

Stormy Weather, the infamous YA book I've been working on forever, is finally going well. I've been averaging four pages a day, which is less than I need to finish by June 1st, but what the hell. It's better than nothin'. I'm hoping to pull some good weekend numbers in May. Last Saturday I wrote ten pages, which is fantabulous for me. I wrote half of a good chapter last night, but I need to redo a key scene in it tonight. Sometimes writing is two steps forward and one back.

This book will get done. And I will query ten agents with it. And one of them will like it enough to want to represent me.

If I say it enough it will come true.

For the love of books

Allow me to get my geek on here for a moment. In my neck of the woods, the weather this weekend has been glorious: sunny, warm, breezy. Perfect. This morning I need to mow the lawn, trim, fertilize, pull weeds from and mulch the flower beds. Before I do the manual labor, however, I want to talk about one of my fondest memories from childhood: the public library.

I lived in the country until I was almost 10 years old. We moved into a house in town two weeks before my 10th birthday, and it was wonderful. I got to walk to school instead of riding the bus; I got to play with my friends that lived in town; that summer, I began to play summer softball. Also that first summer, I acquired my first library card.

It must be said that at this point in my life, I was already a voracious reader. Perhaps growing up in the country had something to do with it, or maybe my parents always having a book in their hands inspired me. Whatever the reason, I already loved books, but the only outlet I had for it was the school library, where there was a two-book maximum check-out rule and limited options. It could be hard to convince the school librarian that a second-grader could read a book in the fifth-grade section.

My cousin took me to the public library to help me get my library card. I don't remember the actual card much; in fact, my hometown was (and still is) pretty small, and once you became a regular, I'm not entirely certain you needed to show your card at all. Sally Smith knew her patrons well, and if you had an overdue book she let you know about it. She didn't need a card or a file system to tell her that.

Anyhow, back to that first day. I got the card and promptly went to the young reader's section. I selected ten books--ten! I remember this exactly!--and struggled to put them on the counter.
Sally Smith: You do realize, don't you Kelly, that you don't get to keep these books?
Kelly: Yes, ma'am.
Sally Smith: And you understand that they're due back here in two weeks? And that you have to pay money if they're late?
Kelly: Yes, ma'am.
Sally shook her head, pressed her lips into a line, and stamped each book. I'm sure she thought she would never see those books again. My cousin took me home where I settled in with my treasure.

I returned the books a week later. I remember this because I rode my bike to do it. My little, clunky, hand-me-down blue bike with tassels on the handlebars and a basket in the front. I had to carry the books that wouldn't fit into the basket. I must have looked odd: a chubby kid on a bike, basket full of books, left hand steering, right hand keeping the stack of books on my right thigh steady.
Kelly: I'd like to return these books.
Sally: (counting) You've read them all?
Kelly: (proud) Yes, ma'am.
Sally:Okay. You know where the rest are at.
I picked out ten more and checked them out. This time Sally smiled when she handed me the stack.

That summer, between softball practice and games, swimming at the pool, and playing outside with friends, I probably read over fifty books. It wasn't too many years before I graduated from the "young readers" section and moved to Agatha Christie, Phyllis Whitney, Asimov, and King. In the coming years, Sally and I became friends; one summer during high school I even worked at the library. She gave me a nice pair of earring as a college graduation gift. She's retired now, and I haven't kept up with her at all so I don't know what she's doing. I wonder if she will be surprised when I show up in town a few months from now, waving a copy of Pandora's Closet.

required reading

I just finished White Night by Jim Butcher. It was good--lots of explosions and cool magic and such--but sometimes when I'm reading a new book in a lengthy series, the nuances of the world get muddled in my head. I remember who all the key characters are, but I forget the inner workings of different groups of people. This series, over the past several books, has had an ongoing war between the vampires and the wizards, and at this point I've forgotten who started the war, how, and why. One of Butcher's strengths, though, is his character development, and this book didn't dissappoint. Harry Dresden is a flawed and deeply conflicted character, and that makes him unpredictable. Love that. One of these days I'll have to go back and re-read them all.

Re-reading books. There seem to be two camps, those that do and those that don't. Last Sunday I caught Stephen King's The Stand on the sci-fi channel. Ken watched a bit and said "I remember the basic premise but not the details" and I said "This follows the book almost perfectly, most of the dialogue is even the same." Ken couldn't believe I remembered the dialogue that well. When I told him I'd read The Stand at least ten times, he was like, "Why? What's the point? You know what will happen. The time is better spent reading a new book." I maintain that that is not always the case. There's something comforting about reading a book you've read before. There are still surprises, because every time I re-read a book I discover something I missed before or I see a character in a different light. The characters are like old friends, maybe, the ones that you don't talk to for three years, then pick up the phone and you talk like no time has passed. I can't wait to re-read the Harry Potter books this summer. However, I've told myself that I can't start them until I have queries for my YA book out to ten agents.

I'm starting Without Remorse by Tom Clancy tonight. My husband and I watched The Sum of All Fears with Ben Affleck the other night. Liev Schreiber played Jack Clark, the badass uber-assassin. Ken mentioned that Without Remorse is all about Clark, said he really like it, and I should read it. "What the hell," I said. "I'll give it a go." I am a fan of the international-espionage books--Robert Ludlum being my fave--and so it's not inconceivable that I'll enjoy it. It must be said, though, that I've tried Clancy in the past, and I can never make it past the first few chapters. They tend to be massive info-dumps and it's hard for my braid to eat all that technical/weapons/international relations jargon without throwing the book aside in disgust.

Back on the horse

"Mark of a Woman" is going to Aeon Speculative Fiction and "The Brethren" is going to Asimov's in tomorrow's mail. Fingers crossed!

setting land speed records, one rejection at a time

I received a rejection today from F&SF for "The Brethren." According to my immpeccable records, I sent it on April 7th. The rejection was postmarked April 11th. This means JJA rejected it a day or two after receiving it. I know, I know, rejectomancy. Sigh. It goes to Asimov's next.

I am so buying something completely pointless and girly.

I really want to bake a cake but I'm resisting the temptation. A yellow one. With chocolate frosting. And sprinkles, dammit.

Another bites the dust

I got a rejection today from Strange Horizons for "Mark of a Woman." It's going to Dark Wisdom next. One of these days I'll get an actual acceptance.

I'm not entirely certain how I'm going to treat myself for this one. My last one I didn't buy anything because I'd just gotten the laptop and iPod; this once could probably slide without anything, too. Though something small and goofy like some new nail polish and or a headband would be cool.

I almost forgot...

The other day I sold the electronic rights to "Cake and Candy," the story in Pandora's Closet. Apparently Sony approached the publisher about selling stories/books online and for their e-reader (basically that's like an iPod for books) and so I jumped on board. I figure it's a good way to reach a larger audience and make a few bucks as I'm doing it. I doubt I'll make much money--the contract even stated that if the royalties amounted to less than $10.00, they'd hold the monies until the amount was more than $10.00--but what the hell. It was still exciting signing the papers.

math

Okay. If I want to have 250 pages written by June 1st, I have to average 4.25 pages a day. At first glance this doesn't look so bad. Mind you, this math is only for the first-draft, and my goal is to have a polished manuscript ready to query agents with by June 1st. And don't forget that to query I'll need a synopsis and a great hook for the cover letter. Que minor panic attack.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I got hosed in Ladies Poker the other night. The rookies will get you every time. Next match is May 4th, so I have time to read up on my strategies.

Revenge of the GI tract

12:15 a.m. Sunday morning: Ken and I ate a Stack at our favorite diner. A stack is basically a heart attack on a plate--a biscuit, 2 sausage patties, 2 eggs, hashbrowns and cheese with sausage gravy poured over the whole mess. Heavenly.

12:00 p.m. Sunday: Outback Steakhouse. We split and order of cheese fries. They have bacon on top so they have been off-limits. We each order the Alice Springs chicken. I have mine with a side of broccoli to sort of cleanse the system. I ate most of the chicken before my body said, "Uh, hello? Like, you are so done." Commence GI revolt.

Never fear. I'm back on the vegetables. Tonight I had a mushroom-cheese quesadilla.

Writing is going well, as is working out. I think I've lost a pound or three but our scale sucks so it's hard to say. I average 3 pages a night on Stormy Weather, so that's cool. I've not done the math yet--how many pages do I have to write in order to have 250 by May 15th?--but I probably should. If I want a polished draft by June 1st, I need to get crackin'.

F&SF ...

won the draw to get "The Brethren" today. JJA's missed me, I suspect. It's been a few months since I've sent them anything.

I just got back from the gym, where I did 2.5 miles on the treadmill. I find I don't loathe the treadmill as much as I once did. Perhaps it's my mindset. Running outside is better, of course, but with these stupidly cold temperatures settling in, I'll be inside for the next week or so.

Now I'm surfing the 'net before I read a little bit of the new Jim Butcher book. Then I'll probably nap, because Ken and I are going to eat at a diner at midnight. Biscuits with sausage gravy and a side of bacon, here I come!

Bad news first

I got a rejection from Dark Wisdom today for "The Brethren." However ... I'm playing poker with the ladies tonight and I'm eating meat at 12:01 Sunday morning. Life is good.

Tomorrow I'll send out the story again. You mangy currs can't keep me down!

look, ma, no hands!

Today I received the cover and proof pages for Pandora's Closet via priority mail. I feel like a real writer.

And then I mowed the yard, which grounded me sufficiently.

Tonight I'm going to proof the proof pages and write four pages in the YA book. June 1st looms.

Another picture

This one is of the Pirates of the Blue Kindoms back cover. Seeing my name in print never gets old. I'm told the price isn't set yet, but it should be between $15-$20. I suppose that makes it a trade paperback (that's the bigger paperbacks that you buy in bookstores, for those of you not in the biz). Today I bought a pirate t-shirt (from the juniors department, for the love of God!) to wear when I do readings from this antho. I have an aquaintance that plays guitar in coffeeshops and she's invited me to read during her intermissions. The idea makes me nervous but I'd like to do it in May and August when I'll actually have books to sell after the show. Listen to me, I act like folks will want to buy a copy after I mangle a reading, haha. It'll be good practice, at any rate.

buying extravaganza

Today we bought a new laptop and new iPod, both for yours truly. Ken's been busy setting up my system. Just a bit ago he said something to the effect of "Okay, it's yours to screw up now" and let me loose.

The computer is pretty sweet: it's got a 160 GB hard drive, over a GB of RAM, a 14.1-inch monitor and came with Windows Vista.

The new iPod is flashy-dashy. It's got 30 GB of it's own and a color screen. It can play movies (if I care to buy them) and can store my photos. I'm actually jazzed about that; now I can carry pictures someplace without actually taking my camera or printing actual pictures.

Vista is ... okay. I've not fooled around too much with it yet. The important thing is all my word documents are transferred and I can commence writing about Max's confrontation with his dad bright and early tomorrow morning.

I'm much more excited about working on this book the second time around. Having a map helps, as does writing it in the proper POV. Right now it's just flowing better than before. It's not like pulling teeth to write. Lesson learned: if it's hard, it's probably for a reason. Fix it and move on. That's not to say if something's hard it's not worth doing ... just, ya know, why make it harder than it has to be? Tell the story that needs to be told and not how you want it told. Is any of this making any sense whatsoever?

A few pictures...

Here are the covers you need to look for in the upcoming months. Pirates of the Blue Kingdoms will be out in May and Pandora's Closet will be out in August. Bother your booksellers now!

Pseudonyms

Am I the only person in the sf/f/h industry that didn't know that Joe Hill is Stephen King's son? I only found out a few weeks ago.

So far I'm enjoying "Heart-Shaped Box." He gets extra points for cribbing the title from Nirvana.

Was there really ever any question?

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Social Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Musician
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

Finally!

I've changed the Word of the Week after, I don't know, a month or so ... ah, well. Ken and I gave up eating meat for Lent. Not that we're that religious or anything, but the both of us want to be a bit healthier, and forty days without meat looked like as good of way as any. We decided we'd eat fish, but no beef, chicken, or pork. I haven't eaten cow in two or three years or something so I didn't think it would be that big a deal.

It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

I find myself daydreaming about sub sandwiches with pepperoni and salami. I crave a barbecue pulled-pork sandwich. BBQ-chicken pizza with jalepenos and onions? Bring it on. I haven't had my favorite spinach salad from a local restaurant since January because it's got real bacon on it. Aaaggghh! I have, however, eaten more fried food in the past month than I had the six months prior. Fried shrimp, fried fish sandwiches, fried cheese ... blech. Not to mention those wonderfully nutritious frozen fish sticks and fish fillets. The upshot is Ken has eaten more vegetables, and I always try to get him to do that.

Easter Sunday, we're going out for breakfast to eat sausage and bacon. The afore-mentioned subs for lunch. And then Mexican for dinner so Ken can have a Steak quesadilla. I will probably have chicken of some sort. I can't wait.

On a completely unrelated note, I got an e-mail from the editor of Pandora's Closet yesterday--the cover design is complete! She included a jpg of it, and I'll post it once she gives me the okay. I'm sure it would be fine--it's publicity and all, you know--but I don't want to break any rules or anything. The best part about the cover? My name is on the back. Right there with all the other real authors. Kelly Swails! That's me! I got a little teary-eyed when I saw it.

good news!

I just learned that Jodi Meadows (you know, that chick on the blog list column over there on your left) has obtained a Fancy Agent. Who is this Fancy Agent, you might ask? Why, it's Jenny Rappaport (yep, the same one that's on the same list over there on your left). Go congratulate them both, if you're so inclined.

I'm a writing fool! Or maybe just a fool. You decide.

Tomorrow "Last Man Standing" heads off to Cemetery Dance Magazine. Fingers crossed!

And you know that YA book I yammer about from time to time? The one I tried to write without an outline? Yeah, I'm scraping it and starting over with an outline this time. Ken (also known as The Idea Man) gave me a few suggestions, and with some of the material I have, I think this next draft is going to rock hard. I'm keeping some stuff, taking a lot out, changing a few things ... it's going to be good. I've worked on the outline for the past few days--I'll continue to mess with it, I'm sure--and last night I wrote the first chapter. It's actually more of a prologue than a chapter but what the hell. The last book jumped around to four different characters. While I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing, I felt like I didn't really get to know any of the characters. Also, the first time I had it in my head this was Max's story, but it's really Zoey's, I think. There will be a few chapters from Max's POV to deepen the intrigue and mystery, but mostly it's going to be from Zoey's POV. I'm bummed about losing this one scene from Tasha's POV--she lives in a trailer and her mom earns money working as a medium--and it showed her angst and bitterness and kept with the theme of "you can't deny who you are," but I'm consoling myself by saying the next book in the series (!) will be from Tasha's POV.

Can you tell I'm a little excited about this story again? My goal is to have a finished, polished draft by June 1st so I can begin the agent querying process. Fingers crossed!

Still rockin'

I got a rejection today from Weird Tales for "Last Man Standing." I sent it snail mail on March 2nd. To Florida. That must be a land-speed record or something. So I bought two old movies: True Lies and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It's like comfort food, only better.

Back to the old drawing board. I'm selling this story. It refuses to die!

Good news!

I just received this e-mail from Jim Baen's Universe:
----
I'm sending this to let you know that "Rules of Engagement" has been forwarded for a final decision from our editor, Eric Flint.
----
Sweet! The letter went on to say basically "Eric's a busy guy, be patient" and gave me a link to track my submission. Rock on! Of course, I have to tell myself that Mr. Flint will surely reject the piece ... but still. He's lookin' at it! (Cue Eye of the Tiger.)


Oh, and before I completely space out, my writing bud Kelly McCullough has another book coming out in September. Go on over to amazon.com and order Cybermancy. If you didn't read Webmage, here's your chance to order that, too. You might as well jump on the cyberpunk bandwagon now; Kelly Y has sold two more books in the series, MythOS and Codespell. They'll be out in 2008 and 2009, respectively. You can say you knew him when.

3.14

First off, I ripped this off of Wil Wheaton's blog, so I'm not as geeky as I'm about to sound.

HAPPY PI DAY!

It's March 14 ... 3.14 ... get it? Pi? Math? Infinite number ... ? Ringin' any bells out there?

Okay, maybe I am geekier than I thought, because I'm having way too much fun with this. I just giggled a little.

Well.

I got a note from the editors of the pirate anthology today. Basically, they liked the story, but want me to make a whole lot of changes. Right now, I am completely logical and objective about them, and after I post this I'm going to start printing and hacking and changing. However, when I first read the comments, I freaked out. A lot of them were "too repetitive" and "show me, don't tell me" and "bad pronoun usage here" type things, and my writing-esteem hit an all-time low. I worked hard on that story, filtered it through several different readers, and I thought it was pretty damn good. Then I read the comments the editors gave it and all I saw was "you suck, Swails, and don't you forget it." Obviously, that's not what the editors said--they liked the story enough to work with me on it and if I make some changes it's got a good shot at being in the anthology--but that's what I heard my inner critic say. I was in a miserable mood for a half-hour, then Ken made me go for a two mile jog with him. After the run, a shower and dinner, my frame of mind has improved and I'm ready to tackle the rewrite. What makes me think I'm so perfect? Of course it's gonna need work. These editors have published dozens of books between them--they know what the hell they're talking about. Enough blogging--time to edit.

Word in Progress meme

Courtesy of Jodi Meadows.

Go to pages 123 of your current work in progess. If you aren't to page 123, go to page 23. If you're not to page 23, get busy and write until you are. Beginning with the fifth sentence from the top of the page, copy the entire paragraph.

From my YA book:

Clunks of metal downstairs made her pause. She didn’t know what it was, but it sounded heavy, and it was probably intended for her. Or Max. A man yelled—it sounded like the man that had visited her—and she began to work faster. She didn’t intend to be in this room when he came back more hurt and angry than he had been when he’d left.

This is from my first draft. I haven't read it in a while, and it's actually not so bad. Yeah, it needs some work ... but it's not terrible. I love when that happens.

I rock even more today!

Another rejection, this one from Intergalactic Medicine Show for "Mark of a Woman." Definitely some new workout clothes on the horizon for me. Tomorrow I'd like to do a 7:30 spinning class, go shopping, work on my YA book, and send out "Mark of a Woman" and "Rules of Engagement." Busy day.

And now it's time to watch Illinois kick Indiana's ass.

That's right, I rock.

Another rejection today, this one from Realms of Fantasy for "Rules of Engagement." This story is basically a chick-lit story set in the same world as my trilogy; the books are set in medieval times and the story is modern, but both have the same rules of magic and such. A lot of chick-lit in the fantasy genre revolves around vampire-love or a "it's hard out there for a witch" theme, and this story is neither. The protagonist is a woman who likes her one-night stands and tries her best to love-and-leave a magi (the dudes who perform magic in my world) but is surprised to find that breaking the magi etiquette rules makes the dude want her more. I say all of this because now that ROF has rejected it, I'm kind of at a loss as to where to send it. Anyone with any ideas, shout 'em out. I'll probably peruse my resources and send it out this weekend.

Of course, this means I can buy something to reward myself, but I haven't really thought about what I want. Maybe some cool new workout clothes or a new pair of running shoes. Spring is on its way, you know ... it's going to be 60 degrees this weekend! (Shut up, Bridget). Speaking of working out, I tried a Body Jam class at the gym last night, and I loved it! My whole body is a little stiff and creaky. The class consisted of little mini-routines with steps pulled from ballet, jazz, hip-hop, and salsa dancing. In a past life I was a dancer, I swear. I don't mean I'm good at all--I would put myself as an average dancer--but in my head I was all about the performance, baby! I wasn't shy at all about working it. I'll definitely take the class once a week.

I submitted a story to a pirate anthology a few days ago. The editor had extended me an invitation at the beginning of February, and I managed to get my story in three weeks before the deadline and 600 words under the limit. Hopefully I'll know within the next week or so if I'm accepted. This is the good news I've been alluding to for a while. Fingers crossed!

A question

On ew.com there's a discussion going on about favorite books. An editor, J. Peder Zane, asked 125 contemporary authors to name their 10 favorite books. Your list says a lot about you, I think, so I put some thought into it and came up with mine. These are in no particular order.

1. The Stand by Stephen King
2. The Genesis Code by John Case
3. Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
4. Jhereg by Steven Brust
5. The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan
6. My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
7. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
8. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
9. The Cat Ate My Gymsuit by Paula Danziger
10. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

For a fantasy/horror/sci-fi writer, you'd think there'd be an Asimov or a Sagan somewhere in this list, but I tried to include childhood favorites as well as more recent reads. I also tried to include a book from each of my favorite series. I should note that I only read the Jodi Picoult book because it was a book club selection, and I left off The Lies of Locke Lamora since, having read it so recently, I might be biased. I should also note that this list--like I suspect yours would be--is fluid. Ask me three months from now and half the list might be different., though The Stand would remain at the top.

What's your list? Don't want to list 10? Shoot for five.

Oh, as an aside: A few days ago I reread The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier. I can see why some of my friend's parents wouldn't want them to read it--it's set in a private boys school, and there are numerous references to masturbation and tits--but it's got nothing on Judy Blume, I think. My memory was right in that the basic theme is how shitty kids can be to each other; what I didn't remember was how dark the book is. Not only are Cormier's adolescent characters willfully cruel, an adult teacher uses blackmail and bribery on the students to save his own hide. The good guys not only don't win in the end, they get their asses kicked. It's a poignant portrait of how solitude, peer pressure, and the group dynamic are an integral part of our academic experience. Having said that, the plot is a little threadbare and jumpy; the narrative is overly wordy and skips around to a lot of characters who ultimately have no bearing on the story; some plot points are overwrought and unrealistic. This is, however, coming from an adult writer re-reading a YA book with a critical eye and the question "could I do this as well or better?" in her mind.

blah

Today I feel fat, sluggish, and unmotivated. To cure this, I'm going to pay bills and go to the gym. Tomorrow I will do laundry and work on my YA novel. Ken has suggested we do a half-marathon in September; if that's the case, I need to start running. The only aspect of running I like is finishing. I suppose, then, to get to the part I like, I need to start. Grrrr. So at the gym I'll do the treadmill and jump rope and lift weights.

I sent "Last Man Standing" to Weird Tales the other day. Fingers crossed!

Day off

Tomorrow I have the day off because I work the weekend. This means:
1. I can stay up late tonight. ("Late" is a relative term here. I might make it until 11:00 p.m.)
2. I have to clean house tomorrow because we're getting (drum roll, please) new living room furniture delivered on Saturday! Oh, yeah, baby. Two new couches and two recliners. This of course means we have to get end tables, coffee tables, and possibly an entryway table. This also means our living room will finally look like adults live in our house.
3. I can play poker and watch "Jericho" in between bouts of cleaning.
4. I can get some writing done in the afternoon. I haven't written anything since a few days before Bailey died. Now that I'm not wallowing in misery anymore, I find that I want to get back to the laptop to put the pictures in my head on paper. (I'm going to try a metaphor here. Before, my grief was like wearing tight clothes over a blistered sunburn: constant pain. Now, it's like muscles after a moderate workout: it hurts, but only if I move the right way. I didn't phrase that well but it's pretty accurate, I think.)

On the writing front, I'm gathering opinions about the last story I finished. If all goes well, I may have some good news about it soon. Stay tuned.

My mom has arraigned a book signing for me in my hometown. A mother of a childhood friend of mine runs a gift shop, and she wants to host a book-signing for me. So I need to write a press release for the hometown paper, buy a case of books wholesale for Janice to sell in her shop, and maybe set up a photo-op of me donating a few books to the library. Oh, and let's not forget have Ken take a good picture of me to run with the blurb in the paper. Yeah, it sort of seems a bit much for one story in one anthology, but what the hell. It's a "hometown-girl-makes-good" type thing, and it's never to early to cultivate fans, I say. If anyone has any advice about the press-release, I'm all ears.

rejection

In all the hulabaloo I forgot to mention I received a rejection from Asimov's for "Last Man Standing" on Saturday. To tell you the truth I sort of forgot about it until I saw the letter on my desk tonight. I'm going to hold onto it for a few weeks and then send it to Weird Tales. Fingers crossed!

Happy birthday to me

I'm officially 32 today! Well, I guess it's not official until 8:05 p.m., but you get the idea. I have to say this is the crappiest birthday I've ever had, with Bailey dying two days ago and all. I'm beginning to get used to the idea that she's not here. I'm not on the verge of crying all the time, but it still doesn't take too much to push me over the edge. Saturday night we went out for dinner at Red Lobster with friends of ours. Ken and I both had a fish dinner and a glass of Bailey's on the rocks. It was a nice tribute. At one point in the evening I joked that in 12 years when Moonshine passes away, drinking a glass of moonshine's gonna be a bitch. I have a feeling we'll do it, though.

Ken had mentioned maybe getting a new kitty, not right away, but ya know ... sometime. I don't know. I look at the other three cats like little ticking time bombs, and I think to myself that I can't handle going through this anguish three more times. But then I think that Bailey had 12-1/2 great years with us, and the other cats have a pretty good life, so maybe it is worth it. Sure, there's a crappy month or so when they pass ... but all the happy times before hand make up for it. I don't want a new cat anytime soon, but I might be open to the suggestion this summer.

As for birthday festivities, we went out to breakfast with friends (yum), I'm going to color my hair (I'm going to be brave and try strawberry blonde) and I think I'd like to go get a manicure. I may or may not go buy a new FM transmitter for my iPod--my old one crapped out and I really like listening to the iPod on long trips. Then tonight Ken and I will probably watch The Departed and "Heroes" on TV while eating german chocolate cake. No worries--tomorrow night after work we're going out to happy hour with some of my work friends so I'll be sure to kick back a few cold ones then.

Bailey Swails, 1994-2007

Bailey died this morning, probably of a heart attack or stroke. She was lying on the back of the couch, fell as she began to convulse, then she was gone. She was quite lovey this morning, all about getting pets and giving big purrs.

The house feels empty now.

snow day part deux

Note the little kiddie plastic shovel. That baby set me back two bucks!

Snow. Day.

Oh, yeah! Having 10-15 inches of snow fall on your head during blizzard-like conditions pays off! I didn't go to work today--no way was I going to brave the interstate during a drifting, blowing, snow storming mess--and my manager just called to tell me not to come in tomorrow. Woooohooo! Rock on! Okay, I did feel guilty about not going in to work--one of my friend/co-workers lives in my town and made it in fine--but being told to stay home tomorrow erased all guilt. So far Ken and I have played my poker video game, made chocolate-chip pancakes and cheesy hash browns, read a homework assignment (Ken) and polished a new short story (me). We threw some chicken in the crock pot to eat tonight while we watch a movie, and I'm probably going to get ambitious here in a bit and make chocolate chip cookies and heart-shaped sugar cookies. Yeah, it sucks that I'll have to use up two days of paid leave, but Yippee! Snow days rule! I almost want to go outside and build a snow fort. Almost.

Best Survivor Ever

Last night I watched the first episode of "Survivor: Fiji." It had probably the funniest moment of the whole franchise. All nineteen Survivors were given the task of building a shelter. They have been provided materials, tools, and a blueprint of sorts.

Sylvia: (a.k.a. Middle-aged Architect Chick): This board is slightly askew, it's gonna throw the whole thing off.
Rocky (a.k.a. Young Dumb Bostonian): Askew? Ascoot? A-S-C-O-O-T?
MAC: No, askew.
YDB: If you're goin' throw around big words, ya gotta tell us what they mean.
MAC: It means not orthogonal.

Ken and I cracked up, composed ourselves, then rewound it and watched it again. Classic.

Book Review

I'm officially on the stump for Scott Lynch's The Lies of Locke Lamora. I haven't had this much fun reading a book in a long time. It's like Ocean's Eleven, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Godfather all rolled into to one story. And the cursing! Lynch's creativity when it comes to swearing is astounding. Sure, the story lags a bit in the third act but the action at the very end makes up for it. I can't recommend this one enough. Apparently Lynch has signed a seven-book contract (This is an unbelievably huge deal for a rookie author--Lies is his first book) and so there will be six more forthcoming. Count me in.

Maybe I'll make the ladies in my book club read this when my month comes up. Mwaa-haa-haa.

Tell me about your first time

No, not that first time--I mean the first time you read a book with sex in it and then re-read the scene on purpose. There's a discussion going on on Jenny Rappaport's blog about "dirty" books we read as kids. It's such a great topic that I'm bringing it over here. The article that started it all was on ew.com.

A lot of the books--Clan of the Cave Bear, Scruples, Hawaii--that are mentioned I've never read, but I've got a few of my own. My mom was into romance novels, and there were a few that, while I never read the whole thing, I did have a few page numbers memorized.

I'll start my list with the Judy Blume books. She was a one-woman sexual education machine.

Then Again, Maybe I Won't. This was one of the first books I read that had a male protagonist written in the first person. The scene that immediately comes to mind is when the protagonist gets a boner in algebra class and the teacher calls him to the front of the room to work an equation.

Deenie. This was one of the first books I read that explicity talks about masturbation.

Are You There, God? It's me, Margaret. All about periods, baby.

Tiger Eyes. I don't remember if this book talked about sex; I remember it mostly because of the horrific death scenes.

And other authors:

Flowers in the Attic by V. C. Andrews. I remember reading this book during summer vacation before my freshman year in high school. At one point (if memory serves, I was sitting on the couch reading a particularly juicy scene) when my mom asked, "Is there anything in there I wouldn't want you to read?" "No," I said, praying I didn't look guilty. She bought it, and I continued to read about Chris and Cathy, the siblings that became lovers when they were locked in an attic.

Christine by Stephen King. My dad gave this to me freshman year in high school, and I didn't look back. I read anything by King I could get my hands on.

The Chocolate War by Robert ... Cormier, I think. I don't remember what this book is about specifically--I think it's about how shitty kids can be to each other--but I remember that some parents didn't want their kid to read it, so of course I did.


I'm sure there are others, but this is a good start. When I think about it, my upbringing was sort of strange. My parents didn't really talk to me about sex at all, but they let me read pretty much whatever I wanted. Maybe they figured if I learned about it through literature they wouldn't have to have "the talk" with me. All I know is, reading has always been a huge part of my life, even as far back as kindergarten, and it obviously continues to be. One of the reasons I want to be a writer is to open up different worlds for younger readers. If twenty years from now somebody said, "I learned about sex/relationships/how cool the world could be from reading [insert wildly creative title for my four-wizard book here] in the sixth grade," I could die a happy woman. Sigh.

But enough about my internal writer angst. What "dirty" books shaped your childhood?

productive morning

This morning I have:
-Sent "Sudden Death" to Glimmer Train Stories. I ended up just making it a regular submission as opposed to a contest entry. Sure, the contest would have paid more, had I won, and there is a certain amount of prestige in being an "award winning author," but ... hmm. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I didn't enter it into the contest. Actually, I still can. Their website says you can submit the same story as a regular submission and a contest entry if it qualifies for both. Maybe I'll mosey on over and do that.
-Sent "Rules of Engagement" to Realms of Fantasy. I swear, these people are going to get sick of me. They send me a rejection and I turn around and send them another story right back. Same with Asimov's and Fantasy and Science Fiction. If I swing the bat enough times, I'll hit the ball sooner or later.
-Sent "The Brethren" to Book of Dark Wisdom. Actually, I'll be doing this tomorrow evening, as their website says they're not open for submissions until February 1st, but I got the story ready to go today.
-Printed a draft of "the four wizard book." I really need to come up with a better working title. I need to bust a move on this so I can actually start querying it. It's not going to write itself, dammit. It's really rough, but it's got potential.
-After I log off, I'm heading to the gym.

It's mornings like this that make me miss working evenings. Though, if I want to be honest with myself, when I worked evenings I wouldn't even be out of bed yet and so I wouldn't have been so productive. I just miss not waking up to an alarm.

Back from the Quad

Ken's grandmother's funeral was today. There isn't really too much to say about it other than Ken's family buries people completely different than mine does. My father's side, anyway. His family is Catholic, and so there was an hour-long funeral mass at the church as well as a graveside service (which was actually in a mausoleum because of the weather). When we buried my paternal grandmother a few years ago, we only had a graveside service. The whole thing took twenty minutes. Then we went to a local church to eat lunch. If someone younger dies, we have a visitation at the funeral home the night before ... but my father's side isn't religious at all, so they don't have church services. I don't think I've attended a funeral for my mother's side yet, so I don't know what they would do. I think they'd probably have a church service.

Oh, there was one notable occurrence: in the mausoleum, there were several vaults that had been purchased, and instead of a "Purchased for future need" plaque, they had a name, date of birth, and a blank date of death. I'm not entirely certain I'd put my name on a tomb before I had to. Talk about looking your own mortality in the eye. It gave me the creeps.

On the writing front, I received a rejection from Realms of Fantasy today for "Sudden Death." You know what this means--I get to buy my poker game now! Woooohoooo! Oh, yeah, I get to send if off again, though not exactly sure to whom. I had toyed with entering it into Glimmer Train's Very Short Fiction Award contest--the winner gets a big chunk 'o change--but it'll basically take it out of circulation until May 1st, which is the stated response time. I have a few days to decide.

new addiction

Actually, it's more of a renewed addiction: OPI's Lincoln Park After Dark nail polish. It's a wonderful shade of purple that is so dark it's almost black. I'd call it Eggplant. They've got a new shade, Lincoln Park At Midnight, that is exactly the same except with a little bit of shimmer. Yeah, it's a little bit goth and a little bit dangerous, and I like it. It's just how I roll.

Working on a new story. I don't want to say much about it yet ... but I might have some good news soon. Maybe. I don't want to jinx myself.

Speaking of no news, my mail lady is still delivering only bills, magazines, and junk mail. No rejections and no acceptances. How the hell am I supposed to buy World Series of Poker 2007 for the XBox 360 if I don't hear anything? Bah!

Sad news: Ken's grandmother passed away yesterday. She was in the nursing home, and we all knew it was coming, but still. Death sucks. (I love that I'm a writer and can't be any more eloquent than that. Yeah, that's sarcasm.) So another trip to the Quad Cities, which will make three trips in a little over a month.

Going to go do cycling at the gym tonight, and tomorrow I'm going to try to do Yoga Booty Ballet at home. It depends on travel plans. This extra ten pounds I've found has got to go.

BEARS WIN!!!! COLTS WIN!!!!

Enough said.

Night out

Last night a few girlfriends and I headed out to Soma Ultralounge for a night of drunken debauchery. It was a good time, except that we were there relatively early (from around 9-11) and they hadn't started to play decent dance music yet, so I didn't get my groove on nearly as much as I wanted to. Bah. I haven't had a night out at the bars with the girls in ... jeez ... a long time. I'm such an old married woman.

Today Ken is in Indy getting his geek on with a friend of his--there's some sort of gaming tournament over there--and so I'm home alone. First, I'm going to do some grocery shopping, and then I'm going to watch The Devil Wears Prada and Walk the Line while I eat tomato soup and grilled cheese. I might even bake a cake. I won't, however, do any laundry. I'll do that while watching the Bears and Colts win their respective football games tomorrow.

Golden Globes

I had toyed with the idea of live blogging the Golden Globes tonight, but frankly, I'm too busy watching it to do that. For me, the GG's are fun to watch for two reasons: 1. by the end of the night everyone is drunk, and 2. lip-reading the audience members. A few years ago I swear I saw that chick from Weeds say "what a bitch" about Meryl Streep. Snarkiness at its finest!

Yeah, so this means I'm not getting a lot of writing done tonight. Tomorrow, three things: work, gym, write. In that order. Oh, and I'll probably eat, too, but that's not important.

Ick

Today we just got back from the Quad Cities. Ken's mom had an episode yesterday where her potassium dropped critically low. Her heart actually stopped a few times, and they had to perform emergency surgery to install a pacemaker. Scary stuff. Perhaps it's inevitable--everyone time I see an ICU unit I think of my dad and all the crap he endured. (His surgical history is a blog entry onto itself. One day when I'm feeling more spunky or more melancoly I'll go into it.) She went home today with a prescription for potassium and instructions not to drive or raise her arm above her head for four weeks. Why did her potassium drop so low? Every nurse I asked shrugged her shoulders, and I never did see a doctor. Stupid healthcare system. Working in healthcare makes being a patient/family member of a patient even more frustrating. I know basically how the system works and so it really pisses me off when I don't see it done right. End of rant.