Thursday, July 27, 2006

Christmas morning

This is what it's like checking my e-mail now: I'm so excited, thinking, "This could be it, this could be the time I get my acceptance e-mail." But then that fucking "You have 0 unread messages" banner bloops up, and I'm lowered to new depths.

It's like Christmas morning in third grade, when all I wanted was a Cabbage Patch Doll, and I opened all my presents thinking this is it, then no, it isn't. The next one would be, then no, it's not either. Then the last box, this one is it, it's gotta be, then blammo! It's a doll, alright, but it's a rip-off fake cabbage patch that my aunt made, not the real thing with a birth certificate and everything. I act happy to get it, I smile and squeal because I know we're poor and this is all my parents can afford and if I reject it I reject them, but deep down I hate that doll. Deep down I want to take a pair of scissors to the arms and rip the hair from its head. Getting no Cabbage Patch is better than getting a fake one, every kid knows this, but somehow this concept has managed to elude my parents.

I'm not quite sure how this post devolved into a stream-of-conciousness about my poverty psychosis, but there it is. Maybe the empty inbox isn't so bad. Maybe I need to take a few deep breaths and go write something.

4 comments:

Innuendo said...

this post kicked ass. it hurt a bit to read it and that's cool.

i totally feel ya. more than you know.

and i love how you made it come back around again at the end. sexy.

maybe you were just venting, but i liked it a lot.

Kelly McCullough said...

Man do I know the feeling. Fingers and toes still crossed for you.

mmac said...

Cabbage Patch
dolls were the real fake. I first bought my Martha Nelson Orginal Baby Doll from a gallery in Louisville Ky. I drove up just to get it after having missed out on her sold out exhibit in the Moutains of the Berea arts and craft show. I had never seen anything like them. Everyone was drawn to them like newborn babies. They were called soft sculptures. I was shocked to see the first faces of the cabbage patch dolls. The looked like copies of Martha's. In the 80's she sued. the court ruled that while the cabbage patch guy had benefitted from Martha's design she had not copy written the design and he did. Martha's Original Baby Doll designs were later marketed to homemakers to create treasures of their own. Homemade is just about as close to the Martha Nelson Original Baby Doll as most people will get.I mostly see mass produced heads offered..some ask for bodies. Haven't found any original handmade softsculpture's like the one I bought years before cabbage patch was born..and then they were handmade just like you're aunt did it. I only wanted handmade dolls at the time and still prefer them.

Kelly Swails said...

mmac: Thanks for visiting! And your comment made me think about the whole consumerism thing. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the "branding" of something when what we should really be thinking about is the sentiment behind the gift. :)