Tuesday, July 11, 2006

So maybe I'm not an athlete after all

Last night I played in a church-league softball game. The coach decided to change things up and put me on second base. I was a little freaked out, because I've never played second, but I thought I was up to the task. I got hit with a quick bouncer to the shin in the second inning, and I thought that would be my injury for the night. Yeah, I was wrong. Later in the 2nd, a runner was on second, trying to sort of advance to third. The pitcher got the ball, and seeing that the runner is being funny, wings the ball to me. I'm on the base, but in my mind the runner wasn't going anywhere, so I wasn't looking for the pitcher to throw the ball. He fires it to me, and I couldn't get my glove up in time. I took that fucker right in the throat. My friend who was catching says she heard the ball hit before I fell to the ground. I don't remember hearing it, so I guess it's true what they say--you don't hear the one that gets ya. All I remember is seeing the ball, thinking "oh fuck", getting smacked, then sitting on the ground. (Yeah, I've got a bruise on my flank from taking a seat.) My first thought was along the lines of "owowowowowowow pain pain in my throat I can breathe, yes, good, I can swallow too even better owowowow" followed quickly by "Please don't let me cry in front of this field full of boys." Everyone--including the runner--circled me, asking if I was all right. I managed to croak out, "I'm fine, I'm fine, go away, I'm fine" because I knew if they kept fawning over me, I'd start to bawl. I finished out the inning, then made it to the dugout before the tears came. I drank a ton of water and managed to finish out that game (we lost) and half of the second game (we won). My throat still hurts today, as well as my shin and my flank. I also have an ultra-sexy, 900-phone-operator voice going for me. A sadistic part of me hopes that the coach will put me at second again, because I don't want to wind up scared of the ball. Get back on the horse and all that. The sane part of me wants to hide out in right field.

Oh, yeah, I managed to write two pages of my book today. Screw you, softball injury.

1 comment:

Innuendo said...

you kick ass. GRRRRRR! you tough punk, you!

i have never been athletic and i've always had a phobia about sports-embarrassment ever since i was traumatized by P.E. in school, so major props to you for even playing the game, let alone being a HARDCORE SHIT about it! Wooo! Rock your sexy voice.