Wednesday, April 23, 2008

It never really goes away, does it?

So today I had the day off. It's a gorgeous day, beautiful, sunshiny, no humidity, slight breeze, around 80 degrees. (Yes, Bridget, I know it's like that every day in LA. Shut up.) I colored by hair, finished a short story, contemplated getting Chinese food for lunch but then convinced myself to way until mid-afternoon, and got a manicure. I went into one of those strip-mall places full of Asian women who barely speak English because those type of nail places give better manicures that salons that charge twice as much. I allowed myself to enjoy being pampered for a half-hour. I tipped the woman generously, and left to enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

I got about halfway to my car before I mentally flayed myself for spending $17 on a frivolity. "Self," I said, "You could have spent $8 on this exact nail polish at the mall and used it for the next two years."

Why, why, why, do I feel guilty about spending money on things that aren't essentials? Why can't I get it through my head that just because I grew up poor doesn't mean I am now? Why can't I understand that I work hard for my money and so it's okay for me to have nice things?

I don't always feel this way. I'm fine with buying a computer or an iPod, and I have no problems paying for a gaming platform or a few books or a gym membership, probably because I know I'll get my money's worth out of them through use. But getting a manicure seems like such an indulgence that I beat myself up about it.


Bridget (& Jimmy) said...

I know exactly what you're saying. I won't hardly flinch at buying something that costs a lot; but I start to think about how all the manicures add up, etc.
(BTW, we just bought Jimmy a new 8 core Mac. His other PC crapped out.)
Try alternating do-it-yourself manicures with paid manicures. See if the pampering is worth it to you. Maybe once every month or couple of weeks. Just think how you deserve it - working with gloves and bugs every day. You might also add in a pedicure. I haven't had one yet, but they look very refreshing.

More later!

Happy Lab Week!

Innuendo said...

I got a Subway gift card for labweek.


And....I have never had a pedicure nor a manicure but it's not because of the "frivolity", it's because I don't like strangers touching me.

Treat yourself...and try not to feel guilty because you are defeating the purpose then! Right? I know, I am not the best at giving this kind of advice. I feel guilty about EVERYTHING.